Saying goodbye to a loved one is never easy. The right care at the right time, delivered with empathy for the whole family, can make all the difference. In this story, Sarah bravely reflects on painful moments to highlight just how special nurses can be.

“My mum was experiencing various health issues, and she knew something wasn’t right,” said Sarah. “By the time she found out it was pancreatic cancer, it had spread to her liver, spleen and lungs.”

After finding out her mum had just six months to live, Sarah’s mind jumped to the celebrations they would have together, and the ones she would be grieving. “My first thought was that we’d have her for Christmas, but she won’t be with us for Mother’s Day or my birthday. I bawled my eyes out.”

Sarah and her mum celebrating her dad’s 70th birthday.

Sarah said the hospital cancer nurse, along with the consultant, was honest in a direct but sensitive way. “They spoke to us in terms we understood, rather than medical jargon. When Mum bluntly asked, ‘how long have I got left?’, they said ‘what do you want to know?’ And helped her to truly understand the journey that she was facing.”

The treatment plan for Sarah’s mother focused on easing her symptoms with radiotherapy, having ruled out chemotherapy. Unfortunately, a sudden downturn in health meant that the timeline they thought they had together would be cut even shorter.

“She deteriorated a lot and was in and out of consciousness. I called NHS 111 and they sent an ambulance within 30 minutes. I remember the brilliant paramedics explaining that due to mum’s heart rate, there was a chance she wouldn’t make it to the hospital. I had to make the decision in that moment, and we agreed to move her anyway. Thankfully her heart held out for the journey.”

This was when Sarah’s family became aware that the cancer has progressed further and her mum had to decide about further invasive tests or palliative care, and she chose the latter. “We were all a bit scared – especially dad and I, as we ended up at a different hospital to where mum’s cancer care was (due to the emergency call out), so we didn’t know what to expect. But she was too poorly to transfer.”

Sarah continued, “We were told she probably had about 24-48 hours, but Mum fought and held on for another two weeks. Dad and I lived in the hospital room with her for that time, popping home for a quick break and a shower.”

Sarah said that the ward nurses were fantastic. “We got to know the nurses on the ward at Russell’s Hall Hospital who were absolute angels in disguise, Mum even called them her angels from day one. With what energy she had, Mum asked the nurses how they were and asked about their children, because she genuinely cared and was always smiling at them. They really cared about her, too.”

Sarah’s mum loved butterflies and visiting the Stratford Butterfly Farm.

Although the nurses were busy caring for Sarah’s mum and other patients, they still found the time to pay attention to Sarah and her dad’s needs. “They saw Dad and I there all the time and when they found out Dad was diabetic, they made sure he was eating, drinking and sleeping properly and they forced him to check his sugar levels regularly.” This left a lasting impression on Sarah, who said they were never treated like just another patient’s family. Rather, they were treated with kindness and respect, and like another priority.

Noticing that the nurses were often short-staffed, Sarah felt like they never compromised or reduced their quality of care for her mum. In fact, it was the nursing team who advocated for her regarding pain medication, on one occasion overruling the palliative care team to help her mum get some rest.

What Sarah remembers the most was when the nurses recognised her emotional pain and gave her their full attention and time. She recalled, “I couldn’t sleep one night so I came out of the hospital room, and several nurses asked me if I was ok. They just knew I wasn’t, and I broke down in their arms. They said they’d been waiting for this moment as I’d been so strong for the last two weeks. They got me a blanket and a cup of tea and hugged me while I cried.”

Later that night same night, Sarah held her mother’s hand and told her, “If you need to go Mum, now is your time. Go and find the cats.” Sarah continued, “she took three breaths and gave my hands a little squeeze. And then she went.”

The nurse who confirmed Sarah’s mum had passed away was overcome with emotion and couldn’t help but cry. The on-duty team informed the ward WhatsApp group, so the news spread across the staff. One by one, all the nurses came into the room to pay their respects and say goodbye to a patient they cared deeply for. Some even arrived early for their shift, and they all left with a butterfly token that Sarah’s mum had used to decorate her bedside wall.

Sarah said, “They were all so emotional, saying goodbye to Mum and making sure Dad and I were comforted. When it was time for us to leave the ward, the staff all lined up and gave us a guard of honour. I still get a lump in my throat and well up when I think about this and what that meant to me.”

In the months after, Sarah and her dad returned to the ward a couple of times because of fundraising they’d done for the ward. “They still welcome us fondly. Most of the staff have written such kind messages with genuine love in mum’s memory book. We just felt so loved and looked after by them. I can never thank them enough for that.”

We’d like to thank Sarah for opening up about her experience, reflecting on a painful memory in order to celebrate the work of the nursing team at Russell’s Hall Hospital. Whether or not this story resonates with you on a personal level, we’re sure many readers will reflect on a moment when a nurse showed them an extra ounce of kindness during a difficult time, and it made all the difference.

Thank you to the nurses that support families through the end-of-life journey. Your work positively impacts how people grieve and process their loss. Your care stays with them always.

It’s stories like Sarah’s that remind us all why supporting nurses and midwives is so important. Giving back to those that give their all.